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THE KID STAYS IN THE PICTURE

Imagine Ashton Tiffany were producing its own independent film. The female lead would be a young woman from the streets of Chicago. She’d like pizza, dancing, basketball, FASB conferences—the normal stuff.

You’d need the right name for a character like that.

Roxie Hart? Fiona Ryan? Jessie Vega? Denise Swerski?

Wait a minute, go back. What was the third one? Jessie Vega. Jes-sie Vay-ga. Jay-Vay. Jessie Vega… (nodding slowly).

Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? We thought so, too, which is why we hired Jessie as the newest member of our august accounting group. Jessie can stare at a screen full of numbers for hours on end, finding otherwise hidden patterns. It’s impressive to see.

Sometimes, though, just for fun, we’ll bring in a random little brother to try to break her concentration: “Eighteen… four-and-a-half… eleventy-hundred… February… negative banana point six… Capricorn… infinity times ten… Albuquerque… Does this bug you? Am I bugging you?”

As good as she is with numbers, Jessie somehow managed to botch this question: “What’s one thing you can’t live without?” Her answer: “Family and friends.”* That’s two things. (HR, please make a note for her file.)

Jessie’s been to Africa, she’s been to Iceland, and she longs to go to New Zealand. Not just yet, though. There’s an epic holiday party to attend in a matter of weeks, where there will be a nice Sauvignon Blanc—one with a chaste kiss of kiwifruit and the faintest echo of Manuka honey.

Welcome, Jay-Vay. The adventure you seek is right here.

*Post-script joke: Once on an Ashton Tiffany corporate retreat, a van driver taking us to the airport asked, “So, are you guys friends?” Answer: “No. We work together.”

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