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HUNKER UP, YOU TWO

Today we’ll start with three questions, moving from easy to medium to hard.

First: Are you familiar with Yuengling?

It’s America’s oldest brewery, located in Pottsville, Pennsylvania. The beer is pedestrian, but drinking something with a nearly 200-year heritage is a kick.

Pro tip: If you really want a boozy, historical thrill, drink a Yuengling in St. Augustine, Florida, the oldest city in the U.S.

Next: If we said “youngling,” would you get that reference?

That’s a stupid word invented by George Lucas to describe junior Jedis. Ewan McGregor deserved an Oscar in Episode III for saying “younglings” without grimacing.

Finally, ever heard of Yingling?

This is a Yingling:

More specifically, it’s Stephanie Yingling, who’s helping our employee benefits pool, Kairos, reinvent health care, one Highlights magazine at a time.

Stephanie’s bio is full of surprises. We’ll pick a few at random and make arch remarks. (You know the drill.)

When asked for a fun fact about herself, Stephanie said, “I married my fifth grade boyfriend.” Seems a little young to be making that kind of commitment, but we’re sure it was a beautiful ceremony.

In a woman-bites-dog story, Stephanie says she’s eaten shark and liked it. Better watch your six, stingrays.

Stephanie’s favorite musician is Pink, and her dream vacation is to Italy. Okay, so the Italy trip will have to remain the stuff of dreams for now. Pink, on the other hand, is fully recovered from COVID-19. (Pink and her son Lavender were both diagnosed with the virus in March but are all better now.)

Finally, Stephanie loves her some Shawshank Redemption. She doesn’t need any encouragement from us to get busy living, so we’ll just say welcome, we’re glad you’re here. Oh, and have you met Sherri?

That’s Sherri McLaughlin.

Before we tell you more about Sherri, please note the slapdash staging and framing of the photo, which actively destroy the illusion of Sherri being physically on the beach. At least you know we spend our money managing risk, not on photographic trickery.

Okay, so more about Sherri: Like Stephanie, Sherri is helping Kairos do what it does, one icy stethoscope at a time.

Sherri’s favorite food is German Chocolate Cake, which is a pity, because that’s the Hawaiian pizza of desserts (coconut is the issue here; fiberglass shavings belong on the factory floor, not in food). To be fair, the signature dish of Sherry’s people—the Irish—is pub crisps.

Sherri’s favorite band is Shinedown. They’re from Jacksonville, so yeah, they’ve got a lead jug-blower. But let’s reserve judgment.

Being curious about the name “Shinedown,” we looked up its etymology and found this: “The name Shinedown was inspired by an innocuous comment: Glancing at a painting in then-bassist [Brad] Stewart’s house, [Brent] Smith mentioned that it might look better if it had a light shining down on it.”

Behind the music indeed.

Sherri tells us she’s never left the country. Well, gosh darn it, that’s not going to change anytime soon. But that just means we get more time with her, which makes us happy. Plus, when the storm clouds part and Sherri gets her passport stamped, the journey will be all the sweeter.

Stephanie, Sherri: Thanks for putting your faith in us during these crazy times. So, quarantinis tonight?

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