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GAG ME WITH A TONGUE DEPRESSOR

This is Denise Walsh:

She recently joined Ashton Tiffany as a clinical nurse consultant. She knows medical care. She’s at ease with claims and data analytics. She can sing like a wood thrush. She’s never lost a staring match with a cat. All in all, it’s an impressive set of skills.

But let’s back up a bit. Some years ago, Denise was attending one of those  awkward freshman dances: Boys on one side, girls on the other. After many uncomfortable minutes of whispering and giggling, a young man mustered the courage to breach the gender divide. Making his way across the floor, he appeared to be walking straight toward Denise. Her heart began to beat just a little faster. She looked to her left…then to her right…then across the floor again. Yes, it was Denise he was headed for, and no one else. As he approached, he swallowed hard, looked down at his shoes, looked up again, and then asked hopefully: “Do you want to dance?” But Denise was too shy to leave the comfort of her friends. Politely, she said, “No, thank you.” Her would-be dance partner responded, “Yeah, me either. I was just taking a poll.”

That young man’s name was George Gallup III.

As you probably guessed, none of this is true. Children of the 80s, however, may recognize it as a re-envisioning of a scene from “Valley Girl.” Back then, Nicolas Cage looked like this:

Now he looks like this:

So he’s holding up well.

Anyway, turns out “Valley Girl” is one of Denise’s favorite movies. Why does that matter? Because it makes her exactly the kind of person we like to hire: copiously degreed, exceptional at her work, well rounded in her personal life…and all without a hint of snobbishness.

Welcome, Denise. Now crush that fly.

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